Last night was awful. I don't know what happen. Everything was going good until last night. I work 10 pm - 2 am (noise control). And there was this guy that really nerved me - he was kind of a jerk. And for some reason, this guy treating me poorly hit some kind of emotional response that poured out longings of home.
I'm really missing home right now. I feel lonely and I miss my good friends that I am completely comfortable with. Everything here is strange - I'm always wondering about who I will sit with in the cafeteria or what I'll do after work. It's like I'm constantly fighting against doing things by myself. Which is really strange because I'm normally a very independent person.
I've also been self-conscience. I don't know where that came from either. And I realized all this last night - it was a lot to take in. I felt like a loser with no friends that nobody liked.
That's another thing - friends. I'm a really friendly person but I don't want to be friends with everybody. I'm an introvert and I prefer to hang out with people one-on-one to get to know them. Well, everybody here seems to hang out with 6 or 7 people. And that is just too many people for my enjoyment levels. As a result, I haven't made much friends outside of the personnel department (the department I work in).
Maybe I need to step out of my comfort zone a little bit more and ask people hang out. I'm being so childish and letting my fears of rejection control my life.
Sorry this entry is such a downer and there aren't fun pictures of canyons or bears. I'm just trying to keep it real and honest.
1 comment:
sorry if that was me...
-R
Post a Comment