Americans Make Goals

Why do I feel the need to always be accomplishing something? Americans make goals. Maybe I shouldn't stereotype - I make goals - and "to-do" lists. Lots and lots of to-do lists. I must always be accomplishing something, otherwise I feel guilty. Now, I'm not saying to do lists are bad, but they create themselves around me until I am trapped within them. A prison of things to do. I am trapped, so I take a seat and procrastinate because I am overwhelmed by the high walls of my to-do list.

I am trying to recognize what really gives me pleasure in life and focus on those things. I like the small things in life, but I rarely focus on them because I am so focused on my lists. I'm done making to-do lists for the sake of accomplishing something. My planner does a good job with that. I'm just going to do what needs to get done right away and live my life.

SAY NO TO PRO! (CRASTINATION)

Life is really good. I stopped making to-do lists and cleaned everything. Because that was on the to-do list for months. Now, I just have to keep up by putting clothes in the hamper and taking out the trash.

Okay, I just realized that I am the biggest looser because the last couple entries were all something you would see in a "Real Simple" magazine. I'll give you an update that a little deeper:

I need more God in my life. I don't know how. I miss my old church a lot. I miss people that understand me when I talk about God the way I do.

I'm going camping in two days. I love camping.

I need more friends in Grand Rapids. I watch a show on PBS about how the secret to happiness is good relationships.

I'm excited for school to start. (Ha, tomorrow is my last day of summer school and I'm already excited for the fall school year. Me = Nerd)

I love to dance in the mirror.

AHHH. EWWWW!!!

The Happiness I Find In Solitude

I love this video. Before you read this blog make sure that you watched that video. I believe it's slowly changing my life.

Here is why I love it:

It encourages me to be go out and do things alone. That is very simple. But I don't do it. I realized that being by myself in public - purposefully doing things alone makes me happy. Maybe it's the other half of me that claims I'm an introvert but I get some sort of resounding peace and confidence by being alone.

I feel lazy if I am home and alone with nothing to do. I don't know why I haven't thought of going out and doing something about it. I feel sluggish and end up on facebook for 2 hours and then I am so completely pissed that I wasted a perfectly good night on the internet. And I do the same thing the next night. It really does piss me off. I hate the internet sometimes (I'll have to blog about that latter).

I use to do so many things by myself, and I loved it. I had to ask myself, what changed? And I realized that it was the purchase of my car that forced me to ignore my longing for solitude. I drive from one place to next, always in some sort of hurry - even if hurrying is not necessary. I hate that. Why can't I stop and smell the roses? Instead, I speed and run yellow lights on a daily basis just to get where I'm going the fastest.

Before I bought my car, I use to ride public transportation. I really had a hate/love relationship with the bus system (It should be noted that I rode it for about 8 - 15 hours per week). I hated it because it's public transportation, but I kind of liked it too because it forced me to have so much solitude with strangers. I read a lot of books and listened to many songs while riding. Not only did I have wonderful experiences while riding, but waiting as well. Sometimes I would have half an hour to kill until the next bus would come and that would give me a perfect opportunity to go and explore. I was a photographer then so I took many pictures during that time too.

In conclusion, I am going to give it a whirl. I am going to purposefully spend some time alone doing what I want to do. I have already started. Today I read for an hour and a half in a park that overlooks a portion of downtown Grand Rapids. I loved it. I love the freeing feeling of solitude as I watched people walk around and ease dropped on construction workers conversations. I love adventures alone. It just makes me feel confident, happy, and at peace with the world when I take time for myself. I highly recommend it.

solitude.

yeah.