can't sleep at 3:36 am

I can't sleep. no duh right?

I think I have cellulitis. . . i have these red bumps (?) on my legs and they itch like crazy! And they're warm, and red. I have to work tomorrow, but I think I might call in sick so I can see a doctor. WebMD told me cellulitis can be deadly. So I think it's pretty important that I go get some antibiotics to get rid of this madness in me. WebMD told me that it's usually caused by a scratch or wound. And a little while a go, I went a climbing in a swamp, and I got really scratched up, and dirty too! And the scratched itched a lot, but I never really thought anything of it. Till now. . . The biggest red "bump" thing is right where all the scratches were. 

I wish I had somebody to take care of me. I don't know how I'm going to get to the doctor's. But I really want to go soon. Like tomorrow morning soon. I really miss some people. It's hard. I know that I have Sam whenever I need her, and she is absolutely great. But it's still hard because I sometimes I just long for that close friendship in person. I want somebody here, that I can tell about my cellulitis and not be afraid to tell them, or think that they are too busy. I guess that's the real problem, I feel like everybody is just too busy to really care about me. And that's not their fault. But that doesn't mean I don't long for that time and intimacy with somebody.  I hate having all these "sorta friends". Well, I don't hate it, but I just want to reach that point where I can cry and tell them how I honestly feel. Long story short. I don't know what I want. 

This was not on the agenda for tonight's blog. 

I think I might have a deadly something.

and I can't sleep. 

P.S. I am sitting on my bathroom floor. odd...